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INSTALLING LOVE
__________Author Unknown

Customer Service Rep (CS Rep): Yes, how can I help you today?
Customer: I am choosing to install love. Can
you guide me through the process?
CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?
Customer: Yes, and I have several other programs running right now.
Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: This is easy. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current
operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, and it has the potential to enhance other programs currently running. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE
with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to
completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent
LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off now?
Customer: I choose to know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do
this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is
that normal?
CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the
life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, and remember you have only the base program. You require connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What
does that mean?
CS Rep: This sometimes comes up and means the LOVE
program is set up to run on external HEARTS and has not yet been run on your
HEART. In nontechnical terms it means "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to
the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALISE-WORTH.TXT, and
ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin
afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is
playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and
CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?
CS Rep: Yes,everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You can run smoothly from here. One more thing before I go . . .
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to share it and its various modules to
everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they
will return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?
CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great
Physician, and most call me Higher Power. Most people feel all they require is
a periodic check in to remain heart-healthy, and the manufacturer (Me) suggests a
schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep
in touch.